Chapter Five:The Homosexual Ghost

On the other side of the village.

Faiz:*wakes up* Ahh what the fuuckk...My heaaaddddd.
Nizar:Finally you woke up.It's been an hour now.
Faiz:What the fuck?Shiiittt!Im tied up!
Nizar:Yeah I noticed.These guys aint shit,ya dig?
Faiz:I dig,homie.Aight,foo.I need to tell you something very important,aite.
Nizar:What,yo?Wait why the fuck are we talking like this?
Faiz:Im starving.
Nizar:Uh yeah like I never heard that one before.
Nizar:Ah I think I can reach my knife in my sleeve.Just a little more-- YES!GOT IT!
Faiz:Yippee~!Cut loose your rope.After that,help me cut loose mine.
Nizar:Chill.This will only take a few seconds.


Three hours later...

Nizar:DAMN THESE ROPES!
Faiz:FUCKING HURRY UP!
Nizar:*cuts loose* YES!IM FREE!
Faiz:Yeah shut up and untie me.
Nizar:*gets up* Haha adios,sucker.
Faiz:Wait,what the fuck?
Nizar:Na,just messin with ya.

Nizar unties faiz's rope.

Faiz:Lets get the fuck outta here!
Nizar:Yeah lets!

As they we're trying to sneak out of the village,Nizar accidently step on a twig.Which makes a slight noise.Then,the creatures came rushing towards them.

Faiz:Aw you fucking bafoon!RUNNNN!!!

They were running as fast as they could.Then,they spotted a dark cave.

Nizar:INTO THAT CAVE!

They went into the cave.But,the creatures seems to be afraid of it.They yelped,and ran away.

Faiz:Hah!What pussies.Afraid of a dark cave.
Nizar:I dont know.But I have a bad feeling about this.
Faiz:Who caaarresssssssss?We're still alive!And thats that.Lets go deeper.We might find some food in there.
Nizar:Okay.
Nizar:Stay close.
Faiz:Yeah yeah.

As they went deeper,it gets darker.Later on,Faiz realised that he got seperated with Nizar.

Faiz:Nizar?Niiiizzaaarrr?
Faiz:Okay man.This aint funny.Where are you?
Faiz:Niiiizzaaaaaarrr??
Faiz:WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOUUUUU!?
Faiz:Man.This place give me the creeps.

Then,faiz smell a sweet aroma.

Faiz:*sniff sniff* Aw god that smells like--...That smells like...*saliva coming out of his mouth* COOOOOKIIIIEEESSSSSSS!!!!

Faiz rushed towards the smell like a warthog.

Faiz:Oink!OIIINNNKKK!

Then,he spotted a jar of cookies.

Faiz:Mmmmmm....Coookiesssss.*takes the jar of cookies*

He spotted a peice of paper.

Faiz:Eh,what the crap is this?''Belongs to Rafaee.Do NOT take.''
Faiz:Yeah like I give a shit.
Faiz:*eats* Damn these are delicious.

Then,he heard a voice behind him.He turned around,but no one was there.He heard the voice again.It sounded like a guy was masturbating.

???:Uhhhh....Uhhhhhhhhh~
???:I want to suck you dick.
Faiz:What the fuck?
Faiz:Where are you?SHOW YOURSELF!
Rafaee:I've been dead for centuries.And I love your cock.
Faiz:*screams* GHOST!COCKSUCKING GHOOOOSSSTTTT!

Faiz ran as fast as he could.But he ran into a dead end.

Faiz:*pant,pant* I think *pant,pant* I've lost him.

Then,he heard a voice right beside his ears.

Rafaee:I wanna stick my weener in your butt.
Faiz:AAHHHWHWHW!!!!!!!!SHOW YOURSELF!!!!

Then,a ghost appeared.He's wearing a white cloth and his hair was very long.His nails is long as tree branches.His teeth,as sharp as a walrus.He came nearer to Faiz.

Rafaee:Skoopidy-doop-doop-boo!
Faiz:HOLY SHIT!NIZAARR!WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOUU!?
Faiz:*whimpers* Pleasseeeeee.Please!What do you want?
Rafaee:I want some cookies and a dick!
Faiz:You can take my cookies!BUT YOU WONT TAKE MY DICK!
Rafaee:I dont think you understand.I've been dead for centuries.So how do you think I feel?

[Circkets]

Faiz:What?
Rafaee:Everytime a person comes into this cave,I would take advantage of them.
Faiz:What?NO!NOOOOO!
Rafaee:Are you ready for my spooky cock?>:)
Faiz:NO!NOT THE SPOOKY COCK!
Rafaee:Prepare to feel centuries of penetration!
Faiz:HELL NO!NIZAR!HELP MEEE!

As he was trying to run,the ghost held Faiz's legs.And he fell down to the ground.The ghost pulled down his zip using his mouth.

Rafaee:Rawr.
Faiz:NO!NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Rafaee:It's raping timmmeee!
Faiz:No!NO!Dont stick that in there!NO!NOOOOO!Ah-- Hey,wait a second.Ah it's not all that bad.I dont feel anything.I dont feel anything at all!I think I might do a crossword puzzle.Yeaaahhhhhh.

Then,Nizar walks in.And spotted Faiz.

Nizar:WHAT THE -BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP-



Advice:Dont ever let anyone take advantage of you......Unless you want to :)



To Be Continued....

Chapter Four:The Tribe

Akram:*wakes up* Ughh...Damn it...Why do they always have to start with the head...

His vision was blur at the moment.Then he realised that his wrist was tied up against a tree.

Akram:*struggles*Ah shit.*struggles harder*
????:That wont do any good.
Akram:Huh?

Akram looks beside him and notice there is a man in a torn up clothes,who was also tied up against a tree.

Akram:Who are you?
????:My name is Azlan.I am a researcher.(note:Azlan is my eldest brother)
Akram:What brings a bloke like you into this part of the world?
Azlan:I am hired by a guy named Osama.He brought me here to do some research on some--
Akram:Okay can you skip to the part to how you ended up like this?
Azlan: ...Well I found out that Osama was up to no good.I overheard him saying that he's going to kill all of his workers once their done doing their part of the job.So I--
Akram:*yawn*
Azlan: ...So I ran away from headquarters.And the last thing I knew,something hitted me on the head and I passed out.
Azlan:*sigh* Crawl out of one hole,and into another -_-.
Akram:Bad luck,ol' chum.
Azlan:So how did you ended up here?
Akram: ...Not worth mentioning.
Azlan:O..kay.
Azlan:Great.Here comes the big ''Cheese''.
Akram:Eh?

Then came a big,furry,naked creature.Akram thought it was a human tiger.But ''it'' dosent have a tail.But it does have an anus.So it must be a human.The human came nearer to Akram.

Akram:Oh my god...I think im going to puke with that anus dangling in front of me.
????:Porche oot ekk jar Akmal.Plivio este bien lollolol pornhubbo questa?(My name is Akmal,Cheif of this tribe.What brings you outsiders to our Island?)
Akram:What the fuck is he talking about?
Azlan:He said he is the cheif.Dont worry.Let me handle this.I can speak their language.
Akram:Thank god.
Azlan(In his mind):[Im sorry,mate.But I have to use you to get out of this situation]
Azlan:*Foreign language*(My name is Azlan.I come in peace.I came here to warn you.There is a man here named Osama.He seeks to steal your land.)

Some of the people up the trees started to grunt and snort.

Akram:Okay.They look a bit pissed off there.
Azlan:Shush.Let me handle this.Just look at the Cheif's eye fiercely.
Akram:Why?
Azlan:Trust me!

Akram looked at the cheif's eye fiercely.Which caught the cheif's attention.His blood begins to boil.

Akmal:(How dare he look at me that way.I should cut off his eyes.)
Azlan:(As you can see,this son of a bitch beside me,is working for Osama.He is one of his top assasins.)

Then,the creatures started to turn wild.Some of them even roared.

Akram:Okay that dosent look good.
Azlan:(Oh god!He just said he pissed on your ancestors grave!)

The creatures are jumping up and down.They seemed very angry.

Akram:Okay they look very pissed off now.
Azlan:(He said he is going to rape your mom in front of your very eyes!)
Akram:Okay stop talking.Your making it worse.
Azlan:(He said he is going to burn your homes!)
Akram:OKAY STOP!
Azlan:(HE SAID FUCK YOUUUUUUUU!)

That really does it.The cheif and his tribe are at their limit.

Akmal:Lorque ke morissa sallamakar ho!
Azlan:He said he is going to fight you.
Akram:Oh hell no...Tell him I refuse.
Azlan:(He said he's going to dance on your grave when he's done with you)

The cheif cuts off both of their ropes on their wrist.

Akmal:(Im gonna make you bleed!)
Azlan:Guess he really does want to fight you.
Akram:Shit....


Let the madness begin...


To be Continued.

Chapter Three:Lost.

Near the coast.

Akram:Ohhh maannnnn...My head...
Akram:I wonder what happenned...

Akram spotted Faiz on top of Nizar.Their both unconcious.

Akram:Wake up.Hey wake up.*slaps*
Faiz:Ow!Sheesh man.I was dreaming that I was eating a roasted turkey.
Nizar:Ugghhhh...My head...Where are we?
Akram:I have no idea.
Nizar:Where are the others?
Faiz:Oh my god...You guys might wanna see this.

Faiz pointed at something near the rocks.Akram and Nizar couldn't see it clearly.So they went closer and realised that it was the captain.Her head was splattered all over the rocks.And her brains was coming out of her head like ooze.And muzzy was spotted near the coconut tree.His head must've bumped the coconut tree and all the coconuts fell and crushed his head to bits.

Akram:Shiiiitttt.What a mess.
Faiz:So what are we going to do now?
Nizar:Im starving.How about we feast on the corpses?The fat one looks delicious *points at muzzy*
Akram:Good idea.

So they gathered firewood near the jungle.Nizar skinned both of them with his knife.Then,Faiz started roasting them.

Faiz:Dinner's ready!

They feasted on their flesh.

Nizar:Mmmm...That was good.
Akram:Okay is it just me,or do I feel like someone is watching us in the jungle.
Faiz:Well I dont see anyone there *looks at the jungle*
Nizar:Thats because their not there.Their up at the trees. *points*

They saw a group of naked human.Their bodies are full with hair.Their eyes watching fiercely at them.

Faiz:*Looks up* Oh.
Faiz:I think this is the time when we should be running.
Nizar:I say we stand and fight!
Akram:Are you fucking nuts?We lost our weapon when we were drowning in the sea.
Nizar:Shiiiiiiiiiiittttt.
Nizar:I still got my knife though.
Akram:Okay those guys are huge.You expect to kill them with that little knife?
Nizar:Hmmm good point.

Those creatures jumped off the tree and starts running towards them.

Akram:ENOUGH TALK!RUN RUNNNNNNN!!!

They started running.But those creatures was faster.

Nizar:DAMN THESE NIGGAS ARE FAST!
Faiz:*pant pant* I CANT *pant pant* KEEP UP!
Akram:CMON!YOU CAN DO IT,BABY BOY!

Unfortunately,they have caught Faiz.

Faiz:AHHH SHIIITT!GO ON WITHOUT ME!RUN!
Akram:YEAH THE HELL WE WILL.
Faiz:WAIT! I WAS KIDDING!I WAS TRYING TO SOUND HEROIC!COME BAAAAAACK!
Nizar:I knew he was going to say that.

The wierd human-like creatures knocked Faiz's head on the ground.Faiz passed out.

Akram:Oh you sons of a bitches are so dead!NO ONE DOES THAT TO MY MATE!

Akram punched one of them.And all of them started piling him and knocked him stone cold.

Nizar:*Stuttering* Hey g-g-guys.Can we settle this like gentlemens?I mean,t-t-there is n-n-no need for violence.

One of them came up front to Nizar and kicked him at the nuts.

Nizar:OOF!JESUS CHRISSSSTTTTTTTT!!!
Nizar:* in pain* That.........Was dirty.......*passed out*

The creatures started the roar and pounding their chests like Tarzan.They picked up their bodies and brought them back to the village.What will happen to our brave heroes??



To be Continued....

Chapter Two:Crash

Inside the ship.

Faiz:Ohhh mannn.I cant take this shit any longer.Are we there yet?
Akram:No.
Faiz:How bout now?
Akram:No.
Faiz:How bout now?
Akram:No.
Faiz:Now?
Akram:Shut up.

The captain came out of the cabin.

Aisyah:I have some bad news which might give a shock to you all.
Nizar:Hah!Lay it on me,ho.Nothing in this world can scare me.
Aisyah:Well we are completely lost.And we're almost out of ration.We've only enough ration for a six day trip.And it's been eight days now,if you guys hadnt noticed.If my calculation is right,we've only got 2 days left to find the island.Or it's no food for us.
Nizar: ...
Nizar:NOOOOOO!IM GONNA STARRRRVVVEEEEEEEEE!
Faiz:JESUS CHRIST,MAN!
Akram:Eh?What did you just say?
Faiz:I SAID JESUS CHRIST MAN!WE'RE GOING TO STARVE!
Akram:What in the fuck does that mean?
Faiz:I dont know.It just came out of my mouth for no apparent reason.

Up at the watchtower.

Muzzy:Hello.I wonder what's that thing on the horizon.

Muzzy took out his scope.He saw an Ice Berg.His voice begins to shake.

Muzzy:C-c-c-cap-cap-captain!
Aisyah:What did you see,my boy?
Muzzy:*SCREAMS* ICE BERG STRAIGHT AHEAD~!
Aisyah:What tha fuck?
Aisyah:ALL HANDS ON DECK!HARD-A-STARBOARD!LOOSEN THE SAILS!EVERYONE,TO YOUR STATIONS!

Everyone started to panic and looked at each other.

Akram:Wait.What are we supposed to do?There are only five of us.Plus I dont know how to navigate a ship.Im not that sailor kind type of guy.
Faiz:Me too.
Nizar:Me three.

(Crickets)

Aisyah: ...God help us -_-
Aisyah:Hold on tight!

While everyone was holding a pole with all their might,Faiz was busy eating the rations.

Akram:What the--?HOW CAN YOU STILL BE EATING AT A TIME LIKE THIS?!
Faiz:This might be the last *scrunch* food im going to eat!I dont know *gulp,scrunch* if we're going to survive this!

He eats greedily.And he picked up a bucket filled with water on the floor and starting to drink it.

Faiz:*gulp,gulp*
Nizar:Oh my fucking god.Dude,do you actually know what your drinking?
Faiz:*gulp,gulp* No,what? *gulp,gulp*
Nizar:That bucket is for spitting.So your drinking other people's spits.
Faiz:BLAUGGHH!!!*Pukes*

They came nearer to the ice berg.

Aisyah:HERE IT COMEESSSS!!
Akram,Nizar,Faiz:HOLY SHHHHIIIII--

CRASH!KAPEWLABOW!!!

To be Continued...

Chapter One:A voyage to the LadeeDa Isle

In the year of 213,564 B.C(before caesar)

Once upon a time,in a small village,there lived our three adventurers.Akram the Human from the West,Nizar the Orc from the Middle East,and Faiz the Pig from the Middle of Nowhere.Akram,an expert swordsman.Nizar,a brutal warrior.And Faiz...Well,no comment.Our tale starts when Faiz,was shitting in the forest.

Faiz:Ohh yeahh baby.Thats a big one.Owhhhh.*farts*Oh boy here it comes!!!AHHHH!

A big poop about the size of 15 curex come out of his dirty ass.Suddenly,an Imperial guard passed by.

Guard:Oi!No shitting at the forest!Pay the court a fine or serve your sentence.
Faiz:Ah shut up,you marxist bastard.I dont even have a penny on me.
Guard:Then pay with your blood!

The guard draws out his sword.Faiz shitted in his pants.His legs was shaking.And then,out came Nizar from the middle of nowhere,sliced the guard's head off with a giant war axe.

Nizar:YEAAAARRRRGGHHHHH!!!
Guard:Blaburbraburburururb..(Dies)

Nizar looks at Faiz.

Nizar:Blimey,thats one big shit.
Faiz:What do you expect?I've been holding it for 3 months now.
Nizar:Why didnt you just shit at the safehouse?
Faiz:Yeah right,like the toilet drain was big enough to flush my shit.
Nizar:Good point.

After they buried the dead body,they went back to the safehouse.When they arrived,they saw Akram,who was reading a letter from the King.

Akram:Hey you bunch of low-lives.Pack all your stuff.The king ordered us to look for survivors at a mysterious Island.They hadnt return after scouting around the island.
Faiz:Oh for crying out loud.Couldn't they find someone els--
Akram:The king offered us 50,000 gold and 5 prostitutes a year for the rest of our life if we go there and report back.

There was a quick silence.

Faiz & Nizar:THEN WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE WATING FOR!?

They all packed their weapons and armors and rations.And then they went to the docks,waiting for the captain at the meeting place,who is 2 hours late.

Akram,Nizar,Faiz:*sigh*
Faiz:It's been nearly 2 hours now.IM HUNGRRRYYYY!!
Nizar:Shut up and wait,you greedy pig.
Faiz:Oho just because im a pig,dosent make me greedy,you greenish fiend.
Nizar:Why I oughta--

Then a girl came running towards them.And then stopped,to catch her breath.

????:Sorry im late,fellas.
Akram:Who are you?
Aisyah Mustapha:Why,Im the captain!My name is Aisyah Mustapha.The king ordered me to send you fine gentlemens to the so called ''Mysterious Island'' and return to report and claim my reward.50,000 gold and 5 manwhores a year,for the win?

Akram,Nizar and Faiz were surprised.They were expecting a captain to be more....Well,more.

Akram:Well im glad.Let me introduce ourselves.I am Akr--
Aisyah:Yeah I know your names.
Akram:O...kay.

Akram heard Faiz and Nizar was giggling at the back.

Akram:Shut up. -_-
Aisyah:Oh yeah!Is it okay if I bring my servant along?He can carry your luggages.Pretty useful.
Nizar:Sounds good.
Aisyah:Okay.
Aisyah:*screaming at the top of her lungs* YARR!COME DOWN E'RE U MISERABLE FAGGOT!

Then,a fat boy came running down the stairs.He thumbled off and landed on his head.

Muzzy:OW!EEK!YOW!AHH!ARRGGHHHH!

They all laugh except for Aisyah.

Aisyah:For once,can you be a bit more careful?
Muzzy:Sorry,miLady.Sniff Sniff.(Burst out crying)
Aisyah:*Whispers* He's a bit emotional.Try not taunting him a lot.
Faiz:Really?He's really that emotional?Let me give it a try.

Faiz walked up the muzzy and gave him a hand.

Muzzy:Thank you.
Faiz:Your welcome.

(crickets)

Faiz:You suck.
Muzzy:*CRIES OUT LOUD* WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Then,Faiz walks back to Aisyah.

Faiz:Oh im soooo gonna enjoy this.
Aisyah:Okay.This is going to be a three day journey.All aboard!Muzzy dont stand there like a bunch of lemons.Place the luggage into the ship!
Muzzy:Right away,ma'am.

The Journey Begins....






TO BE CONTINUED

Short story!

I feel like making a short story.Concerning about my friends :).It's going to be one hell of an adventure.